I have to be honest, I think you should be looking at porn right now.  Isn't that what the internet is for?  Since you are here, lets cuddle, and get to know each other.  In that order.  Exactly that order.   Stop looking at me like that.  Shhhhhuuuuussssshhhh. 

Listen, we got off on the wrong foot.  I'm sorry, that's my fault.  Look at these pictures of my cats.  See, would a creepy guy have cats that he brushes everyday while humming "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,"well, would he.